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The Nashua Telegraph (our local newspaper) contacted me to ask for my thoughts about tips for partners, e.g. the do’s and don’ts for Valentines Day. My bottom line was about making your partner feel special.

As I was reading the article in yesterday’s paper I started thinking about parents on Valentines Day. Sometimes parents feel that taking time for them is selfish when actually it can be “hazardous to your relationship” to not take time away from your children.

I remember a discussion about 2 parents who were getting ready to go out for the evening. After the 6 and 10 year old knew who was babysitting and what their plan was for the evening they became interested in mom and dad’s preparation for their evening out.

The 6yr old asked his mother why she was “upside down” while blow drying her hair.

Mom explained, “Well, this is the way I make my hair look nice.” The 6 year old smiled. Mom smiled back; she was enjoying her moment with her son, but she was also excited about her “date.”

When your children see you taking time for yourself, the message to them is that you are important, special and deserving of attention and fun. You have to value yourself so others will value you.

One more reason to have a “valentine’s kind of day” frequently:
You need to take care of yourself and have grownup time without your children (even if very brief).