A teenager was telling her mom that all her friends were allowed to text whenever they wanted insisting that she had to live in the the house with all the ridiculous rules.
My head was spinning as I heard this story. There is texting and instant messaging and there is facebook and my space and dozens of other places teens can go to connect with their peers.
This mom got very creative…something we all lose sight of when in the day to day trenches of parenting. She told her daughter to come up with what she thought would be a reasonable amount of time to spend using her cell phone (texting or talking), adding that she would be open minded about the subject.
Days later I heard that the storm in the house had blown over and all was resolved.
Kids will be more apt to follow rules when they have some involvement in its creation.
Saying no and setting rules are good for parents and even better for kids.
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cbessette
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February 12, 2009 at 9:40 am
Kathryn May
…Connie, don’t leave us all hanging — how did this problem get resolved? I’d have thought the daughter would have come up with some ridiculously extravagant amount of time she thought was “reasonable”, and the war would be on! So how about telling us all the juicy details???
Kathryn
February 12, 2009 at 8:35 pm
cbessette
The daughter started out expecting “extravagant amounts of time” so it became a back and forth negotiation of what mom would agree to as “reasonable.”
I actually do not know the particulars…so I will have to get back to you.
What I heard from mom was that “all was going fine.”
What I thought of as “resolution” in this family was that clearly both were in agreement, which is the ultimate goal; especially when raising teens.